A successful woman is one who can find a man that earns more than she can spend~

exams are around the corner -__- i'm afraid..veri afraid.. althou i know i;m doing quite okay..but i still sense insecurity in me...maybe coz of accts?? maths yeah..a lil...

really worried these days for my accts...coz of my mock exam jenny has given me..i did badly..and i mean VERI BADLY T-T when i was doing the test..my brain was all in clouds..dunno wat to do..staring at the question..my hand was shivering althou i was not the least bit afraid..everytime oso like that..everytime exam oso a little confused and mixed up feeling all churning inside..all the things i studied jus went blank.. and yes..the worst part was..i didn't even know why i was shivering...i wasn;t even afraid..jus that my body wasn't communicating with me..wun cooperate with me..o lvls oso like that..now oso like that..i'm veri afraid guys..veri afraid i would do the same things in the next o lvl again..how?? this insecurity of mine is veri big..veri heavy..feel as if nobody can shelter it..like as if nobody can take it away from me..jus TOO big to describe..sometimes it's even weighing down my heart..so heavy..i can feel the intensity...that strong dark feeling...it's coming back again....................

yes yes..back to the accts thingy..while i was doing the paper...everythign got mixed up...chapters all mixed up..notes in my head all forgotten..den i tell myself..*but i got study wat*..*how come always like that*..* i swear god..i really did study for this test THIS time...pls dont do this to me* ...guess he wasn'ty listening..it's so unfair...i did veri veri badly..... my heart sanked veri deep when i heard jenny said it was times up...coz i didn't do a single question rite..

at the rate i'm doing..i'm sure that the paper wasn't a pass...didn't dare to face jenny...worst still..i didn't dareto face my mum..or tell that it's this that's bothering me...regulars?? nah..dont wanna trouble them..they got so many things piled up for themselves already.......so wat's the solution?? jus study harder...veri veri hard...coz exam is in 2 weeks time..i think..everytime i'm veri determined to study something..my head cranks up..having headaches..cant absorb the things i'm studying..EVERYTIME!! damn it..veri frustrated at myself....why isn't my body cooperating?? i really wanna pass this time..i wanna pass GOOD.....what's wrong with me?? i dunno.. even all the shivering and stuffs..i wonder if it's a kind of symptom or something.. lol i even went to the internet to check up when i was in sec sch..haha it's kinda stupid..i know... -___- hehe

oh yeah.. ^___^ good news~~!!!! going to shanghai with mum and dad!!! weee~~~ remember when i blogged abt mum going to shanghai for bussiness trip? hehe yup! she's extending her holidays from there.. hehe so she has to go there first for her seminar..den dad and i will meet up with her 2 days later... so i guess i will be flying on the 17 or 18 nov..lol right after accts paper!!! straight away sia!! HAHAHAHA..hope nothing happens before the trip..*prays that my paper goes all well..* pls pls pls pls pls pls pls.....plsSSSsSSs..go well............

well then!! seeya guys!! ciao take care... ^^V